


Bite Your Tongue

by chronicallyme



Category: Satan and Me (Webcomic)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Human AU, I have no idea where I'm going with this I'm just writing, I'll add necessary tags as I go, you know what - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 11:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4665450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chronicallyme/pseuds/chronicallyme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Natalie McAllister goes to college, and gets the most uncooperating, stuck up tour guide she's ever met who might try to stab her in the back at any given moment. She thinks they'll be pretty good friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bite Your Tongue

"Hi there! Welcome undergrads and transfers to your first year of University! My name is Michael, and I'm in charge of today's Freshman Orientation! Well, for those of you with last names H through S!"

In the midst of the large group of terrified freshman was a red head bouncing on her tip toes to get a better view, using a boy next to her to keep her balance.

"I'm going to start calling out names of the incoming freshman and their respective peer helpers. Most of our volunteers are going to be sophomores this upcoming year, so they were all right where you stand today, and they're ready and willing to answer each and every question you have during your personalized tour!"

"The Orientation guy kinda looks like you Michael!" Natalie whispers, trying to peer over the head of the anxious blonde in front of her, "Same hair at least, but his voice even has that same cheery 'Wow guys look at me, I'm the perfect friendly dude!' thing that yours does! You two should go volunteering together and talk about how you save puppies and win soccer games and end world hung-"

"Yeah yeah shush already, I want to be able to hear when we're called, Nat." He lightly shoves her shoulder, and turns to stare intently at the black hair of the girl in front of him. God he wished he was taller. God he wished that he wasn't blushing at how Natalie talked about him.

The crowd, small to begin with, was sparse by the time the duo's names were close to being called, giving Natalie and Michael a clear view of the stage, though Michael seemed to be far to interested in his shoelaces to notice the odd likeness between Orientation Michael and himself.

"Kristi Lange with... Oh! That's me! Come up on stage, sunshine, and we'll head out after I finish the list!" The anxious blonde scurries away, leaving only seven new comers and their soon-to-be-determined peer helpers. Natalie, bouncing still; Michael, the freshman one; the girl with black hair who looked dramatically brooding in a gorgeous kind of way, at least Natalie thought so; a girl with bubblegum pink hair standing with her hip popped to the side; a short stack dude with dark hair who seemed to be eyeing every girl up and down, definitely in the weird way; a guy who seemed to be zoning out staring somewhere by Natalie; another girl with red hair like Nata- oh, no, that's a hijab, anyway a girl with a orangish colored hijab and eyeliner so sharp it could definitely stab a man; and a kid that looked like he was fourteen at most, but from how much he'd been smoking since they've arrived Natalie just assumed he looked young, and wasn't a child genius.

"From the looks of this here, none of the rest of you have repeating names, so I'll just do this quick, so we can all get down to the fun, huh?" The guy had the most phony grin Natalie had ever seen, not that she could see much from the blinding glare from his teeth. She didn't like him, her Michael was better, that much she knew already.

"Naira is with Chamuel, the chillest peach from my Economics class over there, always has the most organized notes, easy to read. Jericho has got Shelia, keep the paws off tiger, she'll give you scars if you try anything, believe me. Chelle is stuck with Jophiel, hey Jophy! Walk in a straight line for once, come on man, don't make me look bad for the fresh meat over here. Michael, is matched with my best bro Gabe-y! You're lucky man, Gabe is such a push ov- I mean, awesome dude! Awesome dude. Felix, your friend of the day is Anthea, the sweetest pea in the pod I tell you. Lalia is going to hook arms with Uriel, he's the bright lil light bulb of the class man, emphasis on the lil. Pax, you're going to be with the tough on the outside, somewhat less tough on the inside, Ipos! And Natalie will be with Luce! Good luck with that. Well, there ya go kids, go match up and start the tours! We'll meet up for the ice cream bar and mixer in commons at 6. And remember, go Angels!"

Smoothing out her "Hello, My name is..." sticker on her blouse, Natalie waited for her peer helper. Luce was a pretty name, she hoped it was the girl with the short blonde hair and th-oh no, not blonde girl, because she hooked arms with the girl in the hijab and started out toward the Music Hall. Maybe girl with the pink colored contacts then?

"Let's get this over with, kid."

Natalie whirled around to stare straight at an un-ironed red button down shirt. Slowly, so slowly that in her head the whole scenario played out like something in a movie, she moved her eyes up to the extremely intimidating face towering over her. She said the first thing that came to her mind.

"Have you washed your hair recently? It's super oily." The guy's face started to get this constipated look, and Natalie couldn't help but laugh at it. This guy was obviously all bark and no bite, like a teddy bear dressed like Danny Zuko from Grease. That just made her laugh harder, Grease, the oily hair, it was downright hilarious.

Danny Zuko made a strangled sort of huff and ran his fingers threw his hair, "It's called gel, you punk. Jesus fucking Christ, this is just what I need, Michael having me get paired up with some teenage brat who thinks she's hot shit." Another huff came out through his nostrils before he grabbed Natalie's bicep and steered her off toward a cluster of brick buildings to their right.

A good part of the walk was spent with Natalie getting half dragged, because Danny Zuko's legs were long and her shoelace became untied and it kept getting caught under her feet and the fountain they walked by was bubbling over and she really wanted to throw in a penny and make a wish and it was so rare that they had a day that had no clouds couldn't they just stop and enjoy the sun for a little bit? But Danny Zuko seemed to be a man on a mission, and never broke stride as he pulled his freshman along behind him. Natalie was so busy trying to find her footing that when he finally let go of her arm, she practically fell against a lamp post.

Not practically, she fell into a lamp post.

She rubbed her nose lightly with the heel of her hand, trying to ease the sting of the collision somehow, and looked around at her surroundings besides the lamp post. She assumed she was well acquainted with the lamp post. Pulling out some of the papers and pamphlets she had been given this morning, she addressed her guide, "Where are we? Is this where the lecture hall is? That's where my personalized tour says I go first, because I'm a graphic design major and I wanted to get a good idea going when classes start."

Danny Zuko snatched her Campus Map and pointed at a complex of grey squares labeled Dormitories. "That's us, right here, mkay?" He slid his finger to a large blue circle labeled Arts and Sciences Building. "This is where your lectures should be, just get their early and ask the security guard which way to go. Do that and you're aces. You're a big girl you can figure this out." Grabbing her shoulders he sharply turned Natalie toward another building with floor to ceiling windows on each story, "There's commons, for your lame ass party tonight. If Michael asks where I am tell him I got a headache and went to my dorm room, and that I was the best fucking tour guide you ever had, good? Good. See ya, kid."

Natalie blinked for a second, processing every word before grabbing the guy's shirt as he was turning away. He looked over his shoulder with some kind of crazed look, like he was trying to scare her into letting go, but she didn't buy that. "Listen here, you're my guide and you're going to guide me! You're going to show me where to go on campus and where my classes are and what sushi places to avoid and which fraternities throw the best parties! You know, tour guide stuff!"

"And if I don't?" Natalie barely saw him move but there he was practically standing on top of her, his head blocking out the sun and his eyes giving off this weird glow like a cat. A cat Danny Zuko, but even when she tried to make light of the situation she still found her self shrinking down under his glare.

"Uh... If you don't... I'll... Uh... I'll tell Michael! Yeah! I mean, you probably didn't even want to do this right?" All the sudden she was on a roll again, like she was never nervous at all, and with every word she stood taller and felt even more badass, "Which means you were forced to be a peer helper, I'll bet my money on it. And if you were forced to do it, that means he's got something on you, whether it's just classmate blackmail or maybe it's the Dean who's pressuring you."

Now for the finale, she thought, gotta stick it or he's going to laugh.

"You're stuck with me, because you can't bully me into lying for you." By then they were almost nose to nose, staring each other down. Well, Natalie staring up, but still. For the full dramatic effect she crossed her arms, waiting for Danny Zuko to answer.

Danny Zuko was the first one to blink and he even stepped back a bit, thinking. Then a crooked smile, "That's such bullshit kid, you're watching way too much detective shows. Thinking you can figure out this whole situation at a glance. Bullshit, and you know it." He shrugged, "I signed up for this from the goodness of my heart, I just decided when I saw that I got paired with a little brat dressed like a potato sack, I didn't want to deal with it. So go ahead tell Michael, see what I care. Tell him I said hi, will ya?"

"Bullshit."

"What?"

"Yeah, now I'm calling bullshit," Natalie cocked her head to the side as she spoke, the same way she did whenever she would call out her Michael for having a crush on one of their classmates in high school. "You think you're some cool manipulator here, that if you convince me you don't care, I won't tell Michael. I have a big brother, I know how this works. But if you really didn't care what Michael thought, you'd be long gone, but instead you're waiting here to make sure I keep my mouth shut. So, basically, I'm the one with the power in this situation, because if you don't do what I say, I go running to Michael about how you abandoned me and harassed me."

She stepped closer, filling in their distance, and poked his chest, "Do you know what that means, Danny Zuko? You're my bitch for the day."

The constipated look returned. "Danny Zuko, really? Travolta, of all people, that's who you compare me to?"

"I don't know, it fit."

"Well my names Lucifer, I'd rather you use my fucking name than Travolta."

Laughter rang out into the courtyard, scaring away several pigeons nearby who were having a pleasant lunch grease soaked pizza crust under a bench. Natalie leaned up against the lamp post, the one that she had become fairly close to, and clutched at her stomach trying to hold back the convulsing giggles.

"Lucifer, really? Like the cat from Cinderella? Holy shit you are a cat I was just thinking that oh my GOD!" The dam that held back more laughter broke til she was doubled over, until Lucifer firmly grabbed her jaw in one hand and the top of her head in another and forced her mouth shut, so the only sound that escaped her was a shuddering hiss between her teeth as the last of the giggles escaped.

"Seriously, the first thing you think of is a fucking cat? From a Disney movie? No, I wasn't name after a fucking cat, it means 'Bringer of Light'. Or, you know, what most people think of, I'm basically named after the Devil. No could you just stop laughing like a twelve year old now?"

Natalie nodded as much as she could with her head trapped between his freakishly strong hands. It was like being trapped in a vice, but she still had a grin, even when he let her go. She massaged her jaw, knowing that she'd now have a bruise not only there but on her nose as well.

"Lucifer is a sucky name, it doesn't suit you," she said, still moving around her jaw to work out any last stress. She crossed her arms and looked her new found "bitch" up and down.

"Satan."

Lucifer rolled his eyes, "Yeah, Satan, the Devil, Lucifer, basically the same person. It's really not though, Lucifer was just an angel, while Satan's just like a title for him because it actually means-"

"No, Satan. That's what I'm calling you now. It fits you a lot better than Lucifer."

He shrugged, "Better than Travolta, that's for damn sure. Now," The tall man drew himself almost impossibly tall, broadening his shoulders and looking at Natalie with that shadowed face and those cat eyes again, "Since you're trying to play mobster here, I'm laying out ground rules. I'm your tour guide and nothing else, and if anyone, and I mean your little friends too, if anyone finds out that I'm being blackmailed by you, you will wish that you hadn't." For the first time, the crazed glare genuinely caused fear in the pit of Natalie's stomach, making her question what the hell she just signed herself up for.

And then, Satan, formerly known as Lucifer, formerly known as "The Bitch", formerly known as Danny Zuko, plastered smile and walked away. "Better hurry up, kid, I'm not dragging you behind me for the whole tour!"

As Natalie scrambled after her guide, she wrestled with two very distinct emotions: excitement as pure as lightning at the thought of making a friend, yeah, he was her friend, on the first day, and the sinking feeling that she just sold her soul to the Devil.


End file.
